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The BookHere are some of the recent columns you may have missed - or maybe you just want to read them again. Pick a topic from the menu at the left to zero in on a subject, or you can use the "search this site" box above to look for a particular keyword.

A lot of the older columns are no longer available online, but there is good news - you can get them all compiled in a neat little package, throne tested for your bathroom reading pleasure, in the book What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets. Right now you can get a 15% online discount if you enter the code Y8NYMDN4 in the "Options and Discounts" box when you check out.

The second volume, What I've Learned So Far... Part II: Angels, Chimps & Tater Mitts, will be coming out sometime later this spring.

The column below won the Erma Bombeck Award.

Just A Little Bike

Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award.

The other day I dropped off my son’s little bike at the church rummage sale.

This is the little bike with special knurled steel pegs sticking out of the front axle, pegs my son could stand on so he could, for reasons obvious only to him, bounce and pirouette the bike on its front wheel.

This is the little bike that had no kickstand, and no fenders, and no trim of any kind, because these things would add weight, and weight is to be avoided at all costs when the whole idea of a little bike is to defy the laws of physics.

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Erma Bombeck Award

A Case of Classical GAS

As anyone who has been around me at all is aware, I play the guitar. I play it constantly, enthusiastically, and just well enough that I usually avoid being attacked by angry villagers with pitchforks. And for 38 years I had one main guitar, born the same year as me, a 1951 Martin. For you non-guitar people, Martin is pretty much the Stradivarius of guitars, the standard against which all other guitars are measured.

A Few Words To All You Movers and Shakers

As we stumble headlong into 2012, which as we all know will be the year during which the Mayan god Quetzacotal is going to turn all of us humans into little puddles of smoldering slag, I would just like to take a minute and fire off notes to some of the people who have helped shape the world we live in.

Dear NFL players,

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The Santa Clause


From the Law Offices of  Pimberton and Marlowe, PC

December 26, 2006

Mr. Kris Kringle
Chairman and CEO
St. Nicholas Enterprises, LLC
The North Pole

Dear Mr. Kringle,

As a senior partner here at Pimberton and Marlowe I’m writing to you as a follow-up to our pre-Christmas correspondence and our firm’s subsequent research.

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